How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
