And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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