your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
