oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
