i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
