I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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