Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(541): View more from Oregon

I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.

(1-541): View more from Oregon

Happy Birthday

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(301): View more from Maryland

you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.

Fav 26 6694 2352
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(313): View more from Michigan

The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.

Fav 31 7027 1574
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(903): View more from Texas

Beer Popsicles are better in theory

Fav 9 2325 1295
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(419): View more from Ohio

You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.

(1-419): View more from Ohio

Um. I literally have no words.

Fav 3 2232 1160
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(239): View more from Florida

allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.

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(561): View more from Florida

u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring

Fav 10 3050 1034
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(804): View more from Virginia

I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.

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(317): View more from Indiana

My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick

(1-317): View more from Indiana

That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure

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