He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
