Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
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