where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
