9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
