honey bunches of taint.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
