I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
