You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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