just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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