but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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