nut hugger
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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