yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
