My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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