i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
