Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
