she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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