Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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