I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he shaved USA in his pubs
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Tornado booty call.. dedication
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
