I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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