He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
And then my night got REAL pukey
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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