Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize