I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
