I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
