I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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