when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
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