If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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