I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Sober January is a disaster.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Let's paint friendship bongs
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
