i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
