the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
420 ftw
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
