we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
