Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
