I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
