the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Randomize
