I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
