sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My pussy is not your playground.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
