Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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