Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
