East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
did i walk over a car last night?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
