Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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