i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
