i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
