You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize