I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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