Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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