haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
