he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We have started to decorate penises.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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