I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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