dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
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who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
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him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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