Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize