I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
