Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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