I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
