I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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