ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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