We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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