and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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