I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I pour the whiskey from now on
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
