I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
