we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
