how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
