Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
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I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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