Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
